Friday, 1 March 2013

Australia's spin options for the second Test

Nathan Lyon
Pass.

The ghost of Clarrie Grimmett
Yes, he may not be able to take corporeal form, but even without a body, the legendary Australian spinner must be better than Nathan Lyon. Never played a Test in India, and he can rectify that now, if John Inverarity can conduct an effective seance.

Xavier Doherty
Wins one point for being called 'Xavier', and should be an automatic selection if you want to get Kevin Pietersen out for 227. Puts a lot of energy into his action, none of which is imparted on the ball

Steve Smith
Looks a little bit like Shane Warne, and bowls leg-breaks. Fuck it, let's play him

Glenn Maxwell
The big show. Could be the next Colin 'Funky' Miller, or the next Jason Kreizja. You'll only know if you pick him. 

Fawad Ahmed
Quick, someone get him a passport. An Australian one, I'm sure he's already got a Pakistan passport. Just send Doherty home and give Fawad his passport.

Bryce McGain
Surely he deserves another chance. Hasn't played first-class cricket since October 2010, but he's not a bad bowler despite what people in South Africa might think.

Steve O'Keefe
Is it too late to belatedly fly the man nicknamed 'Sock' out to India. Well, unless the spinner has wings, which I assume he doesn't, yes. If O'Keefe does sprout a pair of wings, he should get them flapping in the direction of Hyderabad, as well as a spinner Australia could do with a flying fielder.

Adam Zampa
Ok, I'm taking the piss now. Not as good as everyone thinks he is, plus like O'Keefe and McGain he doesn't possess wings.

A wax sculpture of Shane Warne
Wait, that's the real Warne? What the fuck has he done to himself since he retired. He's not retired? Well, he wasn't that good in India, and was turd in the BBL.

I'd take my chances with a spin trio of the ghost of Clarrie Grimmett, Fawad Ahmed disguised as Xavier Dohery and flying Steve O'Keefe.

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